I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize