When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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