Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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