Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Randomize
