The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I deserve this hangover.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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