We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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