U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
