My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
