I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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