Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
