He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
