i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
