I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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