Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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