Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im holly from the hills drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
