There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
