He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
