He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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