I didn't shave. On purpose
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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