wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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