It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
