after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
