i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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