my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
