talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
