I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
