she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
