I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
