this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
