The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
high people should be assigned attendants
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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