You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
