The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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