I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
