During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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