Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
