I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
