Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
