super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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