The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize