I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
