he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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