like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize