Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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