You're so nebulous sometimes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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