I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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