Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
why is half of my head shaved?
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