i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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