i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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