I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
