Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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