In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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