it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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