hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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