she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
