To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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