I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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