My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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